Not many people know or can understand what we go through on a daily or even minute by minute basis. We are physically and mentally consumed by IF. I am either peeing on a stick everyday morning waiting for the "go ahead", running to a doctor appointment, or researching new treatments, drugs, etc. There is not a day that goes by that we don't hear that someone is now pregnant, or someone had their baby, or see about 300 pregnant women when we go out in public. It's like they look for us and follow us around where ever we go. OK- so not really but some days that is what it feels like. I (Debra) have lost several friends through IF. Sometimes I will admit it is hard to hear that a friend is pregnant or had her baby but it hurts me more that they would think I don't care and wouldn't be happy for them. I tell Adam, it's like I have a contagious disease and all pregnant women must stay away or risk becoming infertile too. So I'm being a little sarcastic but I am also trying to show you how we suffer everyday from this. I will admit, baby showers are the one thing I stay away from. I could probably go but I would ruin it for the person having the shower because I would be the one in the corner crying the entire time. I have found that it is best to just send a gift and wish them congratulations.
I do attend and now lead the national infertility group RESOLVE here in Indianapolis. It has been the most therapeutic thing for me. It meets once a month and there are the most amazing group of ladies who attend. They have become such good friends of mine and I look forward to a day that we can all "graduate" and move on with a baby in our arms or our belly.
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