Infertility affects Adam and I differently. It affects me more hormonally meaning it's not only my mind but my body physically yearns to carry a baby. I want to physically experience being pregnant. I would give anything to know what it's like to have morning sickness or swollen feet. Adam on the other hand has a yearning that comes from the heart. Here is where I warn you to have a Kleenex handy. This morning I was in the bathroom getting ready and Adam was taking his shower. He usually serenades me with a song that is stuck in his head but instead out of the blue he says, "I can't wait to change my name." I think to myself, "what in the world is he talking about." I finally gave up and replied, "what do you mean by changing your name?" Adam replied "To Daddy. I can't wait for my name to be Daddy." This is the 1st time he has ever mentioned anything like this to me. It was all I could do to keep from crying. It broke my heart to hear him say this. For those of you who know Adam and have ever seen him interact with children, he is a natural. It makes me sad to think he might not ever get to hear the word "daddy". I told him to remember that when we are going through IVF and use it as motivation. He also told me that is how he wants me to tell him we are pregnant. He wants me to let him know his name will be changing.
Infertility is the hardest thing Adam and I have ever gone through as a couple. It has however helped us strengthen our commitment and love for each other. I love you Adam and can't wait for the day that both our names will change. Happy Valentines Day.
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